Lessons in letting go
by The madness in me
Summary: A surprise visit from Peter shows Tony the true heroic strength of his young protege


Tony was working in his lab when the kid arrived.

It was a surprise really because although Peter did technically have an open invitation he generally only came around when specifically asked to help with something and had certainly never dared show up unannounced before. Standing from his desk as the door slid open Tony barely had time to even begin asking what he was doing there before arms were wrapping about his middle in a desperate embrace and a face was buried against his chest.

Somewhere in his mind a little voice was urging him to reiterate the message that 'we're not there yet' and push the teenager away but thankfully a different part of his brain was working faster and quite hurriedly pointed out the way the boy's shoulders were shaking almost violently. Another moment was enough to register the damp warmth of tears soaking through his shirt and the sound of sobbing that Peter was too far gone to even try to hide.

Unable to conjure up any other response Tony just raised his own hands and returned the hug, letting the boy cry into his chest. After a while the effort of standing still became too much and Peter was nowhere near being finished so Tony awkwardly shifted them across the room to an old futon he occasionally slept on when too tired to get back to his room but not tired enough to just pass out on the desk. He lowered them down onto the seat and let Peter continue to sob his heart out, certain that the wet patch on his shirt was as much snot now as it was tears but too worried about his young mentee to care.

What seemed like an age later the tears finally subsided.

Tony shifted slightly. Not enough to pull away from the boy but enough to look at his face and try to prompt him to look back. Peter kept his gaze down a little longer, presumably trying to collect his thoughts before finally taking a deep breath and looking up, red rimmed eyes looking sore and tired.

"Sorry about your shirt Mr Stark" He mumbled quietly, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

Tony grabbed an old rag from a nearby table and handed it over for the kid to clean himself up as he finally took advantage of having room to move again, stretching out and feeling a few things click all over. Glancing down at the damp fabric of his shirt Tony just shrugged. Even if it wouldn't wash out, which it would, it wasn't as if he couldn't buy a new one.

"You wana talk about it?" He asked instead.

This time Peter shrugged, looking away once more and letting his eyes scan around the room. It was at this point that Tony realised the kid was wearing his spider suit, sans mask, and really he should have clocked that sooner. For a genius he could be damned oblivious sometimes.

"Patrol gone wrong?" He prompted lightly, surprised when the kid shook his head again.

"Caught a bunch of thugs robbing a jewellery shop" Peter told him lightly "made them stop"

Tony tilted his head, knowing there was something big the kid was leaving out "and?"

Peter swallowed, like he was trying to work up the nerve to speak. "and I got most of them webbed up pretty easily" he continued, playing with the mask of his suit that Tony guessed must have been grasped in his hand this whole time. "one of them, he ran off, he…" Peter took a shaky breath eyes fixed on the eyes of the mask in his hand "He climbed up a fire escape to try to lose me but I followed and then he….he tripped up and fell…."

Tony winced. "Kid you know that's not your…."

"He grabbed the side" Peter continued before Tony could finish his reassurance. "He couldn't climb back up and I was stood above him, he asked me to help and…." Peters hand tightened around the fabric in his hand, whole body shaking, and Tony was sure he was going to start crying again.

"I knew him." There was anger in Peters voice and it scared that hell out of Tony "I recognised him, right then as he was looking up at me, begging me to pull him to safety. I remembered the look on his face last year as he tried to push past us…and…uncle Ben….he…"

Tony closed his eyes, feeling a wave of nausea settle in his stomach. He knew all about uncle Ben. Had read the police report when researching the kid. Civilian shot and killed confronting mugger.

Nephew the only witness. Culprit never caught.

"Kid.." He breathed out. Not really sure where he was going with it but needing to say something. To offer some reassurance.

"We were on the top floor." Peter continued with his account of tonight's events. "I knew if he fell he…he would…." The tears were falling again, as Peter gasped for breath unable to finish the sentence. "He was begging me. Begging me to pull him up. To save him."

Tony absently noted that he would probably need to rebuild the mask for the spidey suit if Peter didn't stop tugging at it like that. "I was so angry." The kid continued "I wanted him to fall. I wanted to see him die" The words were grit out through clenched teeth.

Greif swept through Tony like ice at the thought of this innocent child he had so desperately wanted to protect crossing that line. That precipice you could never go back from.

"Kid..." He said again. Unable to say anything else.

"I pulled him up" Peter blurted, finally dropping the mask before he tore it in half and instead curling up to hug his own knees. "Gave him to the police"

Tony gasped in a breath of air, unable to express the relief he felt as he swept forward and tugged the boy back into a hug, rocking them both gently and pressing a kiss into the top of his head. Desperately trying to offer all the comfort he could,

"I was so angry" Peter mumbled softly into his chest "I wanted him to die but I…I knew if I let him fall the only way I could justify it to myself…the only way I could live with myself afterwards would be to stay like that…to stay angry with him forever….I just…couldn't. I couldn't face living my life with all that hate"

Green eyes turned up towards Tony, tears still sparkling on the boy's lashes "Did I do the right thing?" he asked. Voice barely a whisper.

Tony blinked back his own tears and held the kid closer rubbing soothing circles across his back "Peter you are the most amazing person I've ever met you know that?"

The teen shifted slightly but Tony held him still, and pressed another kiss down into his brown hair. "I don't know many people who would have been strong enough to do what you did tonight. To help that man after what he did….you….you're amazing kid….and yes…of course you did the right thing….you always do." Tony felt the gasp against his chest as the sniffles started again.

"That's why you're a hero." He finished, urging Peter to see how strongly he believed it. "The best one I ever met"

…

"I forgive him" Peter confessed later that evening once they had both cleaned up and changed. Tony ordered in some food and they were sat in his living room pretending to watch TV. "I had to. Before I helped him."

In his mind Tony saw the grainy video of a wrecked car, an approaching soldier. He put his glass down before the shaking in his hands became too obvious.

"Did it…." He gulped "Do you feel better for it?"

Peter looked up at him, face still pale. "Not really." He admitted "But I feel…like its not on me anymore…like I don't need to hold onto that rage in order to honour Bens death…now I….I can honour his life instead. I think he would have wanted that."

Tony nodded, letting the words sink in. "Yeah. I think you're right"


End file.
